These things do we earnestly desire: A clear vision of life, that with gracious and kindly hearts we may share both joy and sorrow and bring into living reality the Sisterhood of women. An appreciation of real merit and worth, steadfastness of soul, that without bitterness or defeat we may encounter misfortune and with humility meet success. These things, O Lord, help us to instill within our hearts that we may grow in courage and graciousness and peace.
I finished my college degree just six months ago. It completely baffles me how many things have changed in such a short amount of time. Friends who I loved so dearly have become strangers as work, money and adult responsibility takes the front burner.
Since beginning college, I have grown in so many ways and experienced so many different things. I’ve personally dealt with circumstances greater and tougher than many of my friends and people my age. I admit, still, I have a long way to go in terms of growing up.
I look back to my college days, and the late nights, lack of sleep and anxiety seem like nothing. The fights and drama have been forgotten, and the drunken nights, partying, formals, fundraisers and road trips have all wound themselves together into one blurry far away memory.
However, these words remain with me. I often say joining a sorority was both one of the best and worst decisions I’ve made in my 23 years of life. However, these words, the very words that make up the Symphony of Alpha Xi Delta, have stuck out to me, their meaning becoming more clear as I travel through life.
As I sit here tonight, in fear, sadness and anger, I wonder where the next chapter of life will take me. Which dream will become my next reality? I’m at a crossroads now, faced with several decisions… Do I look for full-time employment? Do I go back to college? Do I study nursing or go for my MBA? Should I keep trying to be patient till I find work in an ad agency? Will I even be happy with any of these decisions I make?
It’s tough to determine your own fate when you don’t even know where your heart lies anymore.