I’ve just woken up from napping and traveling all day. I’ve worked 40+ hour weeks in retail for the last several weeks, and because I’m trying to wean off of my depression medication, I haven’t gotten much sleep.
I guess you don’t realize how exhausted your day-to-day routines make you until you actually get some much needed time off. Andrew and I traveled to Pittsburgh yesterday. Unfortunately, his uncle Andy passed away Thursday afternoon after a month long battle in the hospital, cutting our weekend get-away a little short. We spent our Friday driving and celebrating the marriage of one of his High School friends, Justin to his beautiful bride, Cami.
The service was beautiful, as was the reception. If nothing else, attending all of these weddings has given me plenty of ideas for my own wedding some day.
The reception, which was held at the Pittsburgh Airport, turned out to be one giant High School reunion. I was sitting quietly sipping my wine, as people were walking around, re-introducing themselves and catching up on the past seven or so years. The only people in the room I knew were my boyfriend Andrew, his friends Pat, Ashley and Lachovey, and of course, Justin the groom.
Luckily, Ashley and I have small bladders and a big love for white wine, so we ran off to the bathroom to escape most of the introductions. On our way back to the party however, we met up with a couple of girls who graduated a couple of years before her. Normally I love meeting new people. I love to meet people even more in my slightly clouded, alcohol induced state.
Only this time, I felt incredibly uncomfortable, and kind of awkward. As soon as I introduced myself and explained who I was in relation to the group, the cellphones started flying out. Usually when I flip out my phone, I’m showing people pictures of the new Louboutins I’ve just bought, or showing off a pic of something funny one of the dogs have done. Kind of confused, I looked at the screen anyway, only to see infants staring back at me. Babies?!?!
Unsure of what to say, I quickly muttered something about how cute the tiny human was and offered my congratulations. I really just felt like I was living an episode of Sex and the City.
I usually spend most of my days working my tail off, just to have a little money in the bank, and some new designer items in my closet. If I’m not at work, I’m usually cuddling with one of the two dogs, or finding out how I am going to make that handsome man above propose to me. Babies are the furthest thing from my mind.
I mean, who am I to judge? If these people are happy then cool for them. I just hate how relationships/jobs/children whatever make people lose sight of who they are. Like congratulations on producing a cuter version of yourself with your high school sweetheart. But I am just meeting you. I want to know who YOU are and what you’re doing. Not about the little guy on your phone.
Why does the life of a new human force us to put our dreams and even ourselves on hold? Why is it so hard for people to be great mommys and daddys while still chasing after their dreams? I mean, props to the mothers who stay at home every day, caring for and raising the children, and taking care of the home, but come on. Am I so mean for wanting more for myself and my boyfriend?
I think children are adorable, and sometimes even fun to hang out with. I even hope to raise my own little cutie some day. But I don’t want to be a mom at 25. Nor do I want to lose sight of who I am. I don’t ever want to become one of those people at parties who start obsessing over their family when someone asks them how THEY are. I have dreams and goals and could never live with myself if I didn’t have a career and life on top of a family. Does that make me an awful person?
You don’t have to answer that, but you can enjoy another picture of me, simply being my awkward self!