Actually that first sentence is a complete lie. I have encountered so many situations lately, both in my own life and through work and friends that I could write an entire novel. Some of these stories aren’t appropriate to share, and others, I’m just not ready to share with the entire Internet.
However, I did celebrate a small milestone today. 21 days ago, I made a life changing decision to be Paxil free.
I kind of jumped into this decision faster than I should have. The first few days without the medication were terrible- I had incredible hot flashes and felt like I was going to sweat my own skin off. I had stomach aches just from drinking a bottle of water, I was tired all the time, and had horrible brain zaps, a term which can best be described as the feeling one gets if they stick their finger into an electrical outlet, or touch the prongs of a plug. Imaging the jolt of electricity, but only flowing through your brain. Yeah, it’s really fun.
As time progressed all of these side effects went away. I’m back to my normal sleep-less self, and I feel completely normal again. It’s such an amazing feeling to know I can kick a habit without running back to it when times get tough or I get a little sad. (It’ll be nice when I can say the same for shopping).
Aside from the raging emotions, I haven’t felt this good in at least five years. One minute I’ll be laughing and happy, the next minute I’ll be tearing up over a song, or watching a child with Autism try to overcome his own obstacles on television. I’m told this is just another stage of the drug withdrawal though, and I’ll sure be happy when this phase has reached it’s end.
To say it’s been an easy three weeks would be an utter lie, but I feel a sense of accomplishment I usually only get when I see my name in print, or the newspapers have decided to pick up another one of my news stories.
Giving up my “medicinal crutch” and learning to deal with stress and anxiety drug-free will continue to be a challenge for me, but I am so proud of the progress I’ve made so far. I Can’t wait to be able to say the same things about kicking the shopping and soda addictions 😉